When I asked this girl to dance, I gave her the choice of saying yes or no. I
gave her options. If she had said yes, all sorts of possibilities would have opened up.
"But if she said no, then things weren't going to progress at all. And this was her decision, not mine. By extending myself to her in the invitation to dance, I took a great risk. I risked that she would say no and I would be left standing there on the girls' side of the cafeteria humiliated.
"Which is what happened.
"I had to live with her decision.
"I was at the mercy of her choice.
"I had given her the power in the relationship, at least what there was of a relationship.
"When you move toward a person, when you extend yourself to them, when you invite them to do something, when you initiate conversation, you give them power.
"Power to say yes or no. Power to decide.
"This is true from junior high dances to marriage proposals to inviting someone for coffee.
"Everyone who has ever received a no knows exactly what I'm talking about.
"Anytime we move towards another in any way, we are taking a risk. A risk that [they] may say no. Our gesture may not get returned. Our invitation may be rejected. Our love may not be reciprocated."

'She ran into the girls' bathroom', Sex God, Rob Bell