| Sunday, March 04, 2007 |
| A deadline |
I'm back from retreat. An interesting weekend. Found myself focusing a lot on the lack of husband situation. Found myself echoing Hannah's prayer in 1 Samuel 1:11:
"O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant's misery and remember me, and not forget your servant" OK, so she was asking for a son, but what's to stop me asking for what I desire - a husband?
Anyway, A called whilst I was away. He'd been thinking this week about me, and realised that there wasn't the spark he hoped for. That is, in its way, a relief, as I'd been struggling with how to deal with my feelings for S in the light of A. Especially after having a fantastic afternoon at the Tate with S!
I did a lot of reading over the weekend, and ended up picking up a book called A Little Kosher Seasoning, by Michele Guinness. I love her stuff and highly recommend getting hold of some of it. This morning I skived off prayers and the talk to have a rest, as I didn't get a lot of good sleep over the weekend due to a hard single bed and noisy neighbours - snoring, tossing and turning when there are thin walls is not so fun! And I ended up reading something I would never have got around to reading, wouldn't have had the time.
"I had loved Peter almost from the moment I met him. But he was a very earnest, intense young man, and not ready to commit himself to a relationship. So I waited. And I waited. There were other men, gentle, considerate, attractive men, romantic walks, hand-in-hand in the moonlight, proposals. I turned them all down. Was I mad? But none compared with my 'Mr Right'. I was in great danger of wasting away my life, mooning after the impossible like a lovesick toad. The minister of the church I attended decided that matters should be brought to a head. He suggested that we gave the Almighty a deadline: four months, until Christmas. If, by then, there was still no spark of life from the object of my desires, I was to leave the town and go find a job elsewhere." So I'm setting a deadline. I don't think the leaving town bit will happen. But a deadline. A review in 6 months, and a final deadline of 1 year from today. If nothing is happening I must give him up. And that was a hard prayer to pray.
But I'm not going to pin all my hopes on this, close off where God may be pushing me in other directions. I will test and discern all situations.
But now I will take myself off the dating website. |
posted by Calia77 @ 4:48 pm  |
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