| Tuesday, August 07, 2007 |
| Simpson irony |
 I was visting friends last week and thought their fridge Homer looked a little under-dressed. On going to remedy that, I found these clothes for him. The irony is not lost on me.
The boys - and I - were all a little shame-faced yesterday morning, my first day back in the office after 'the incident'. Too right we should be!!! T, the more persistent of the 2 (Bad Chef, we call him, as opposed to Good Chef - not Cop!) just laughed when I said Hi. Not nastily, just a little embarrassed. It's his birthday next week and he asked me today if I was still going out for drinks with them - my first response was, "How many are you having?", to which he replied: "Not as many as last time!" I think we're cool.
C - Good Chef - though. Saw him first on Monday from a distance. He was carrying something and held it up to his face when he saw me, in a mildly embarrassed way. We're cool too.
Though... I'm struggling with it. Temptation is there. I know I could have Good Chef (or Bad Chef) at the click of a finger. Which is nothing to be proud of, I know. But I do fancy GC. And there's that longing, that desire: here's someone who wants me, who I have chemistry with, and to be honest, I'm just longing for some physical affection. BUT I know I don't want anything more. I fancy him, but I don't know him well enough to know if I like him - and I plan to keep it that way. I'd be using him, plain and simple. And I'm sure he'd just be after a bit on the side, too.
Need to work on this. Work through this with God. I'm facing temptation, staring it in the face on a daily basis. It's very, very tempting. I mean, this guy is cute with a very fine body! The enemy knows my weakness, and is waving it under my nose.
And I'm staring back at it. It's like temptation is a cavern: we me on the one side and it (or him, in this case) on the other. There's a bridge across it, but unlike the Indiana Jones bridge which appears when you step out in faith, this bridge is just an illusion. The minute you step on it, it's gone, and you plummet into the cavern.
I have to remember to cover myself in prayer daily, hourly, by the minute, by the second. Otherwise, it could get very messy. |
posted by Calia77 @ 8:14 pm  |
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| 4 Comments: |
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I'm glad you are all cool, so the work atmosphere is not too troubling at least.
I use the 'avoid' technique to deal with my tempatation too. Isn't there a scrpture about fleeing tempation or am I mixed up on that. I consider fleeing = avoidance :)
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why not talk to them directly and tell them you don't want IT. You can really shut this door instead of avoiding it...
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I think that avoidance would shut the door on this but on the other hand not talking to either of them at all is going to hurt everyone... so a little talk, shake hands and then diving behind doors might be the best course of action. But you'll have to work the balance out carefully.
But on the other hand - the party might not be the best thing... I remember lots of friends who said they would only go 'for one' when in their more reasonable moments would say that they knew darn well they couldn't stop when they went out...
It can't go well - will the other one be there as well? and drink? I can only see that at best it would get 'interesting' and at worst, well I think you are well aware of what that could mean.
I'm glad you've found that going back hasn't been too fraught and that this could, possibly, all blow over...
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do you plan to go for drinks?
if so, why?
Do you believe what your last post said about being good enough to fuck but not to love?
I don't want to sound harsh, but I went out to dinner with a guy last week and up half naked in the front seat of his car - on our first date!
He's not married, but that's not the point.
The point is that some women give off the message that they are desperate for love and/or affection. Sadly most men will go for this woman just because most men think with their penis.
So if you want to be more than a passing fancy (like I do) then you need to stop sending out the message. Don't ask me how, it may not be possible, I haven't figured it out yet. I know I don't act, dress or think like a slut, but I still seem to give off that vibe to most men and THEN I don't say NO (most of the time) which confirms that I am exactly what they perceived me to be. It's more than a weakness, it's a problem.
I care about you or I would not share this out here for anyone to see. Of course I am not going to sign my name but you know who this is.
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I'm glad you are all cool, so the work atmosphere is not too troubling at least.
I use the 'avoid' technique to deal with my tempatation too. Isn't there a scrpture about fleeing tempation or am I mixed up on that. I consider fleeing = avoidance :)