| Sunday, December 09, 2007 |
| Talking about forgiveness |
A Story About Forgiveness
At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, "Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?"
Jesus replied, "Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.
"The kingdom of God is like a king who decided to square accounts with his servants. As he got under way, one servant was brought before him who had run up a debt of a hundred thousand dollars. He couldn't pay up, so the king ordered the man, along with his wife, children, and goods, to be auctioned off at the slave market.
"The poor wretch threw himself at the king's feet and begged, 'Give me a chance and I'll pay it all back.' Touched by his plea, the king let him off, erasing the debt.
"The servant was no sooner out of the room when he came upon one of his fellow servants who owed him ten dollars. He seized him by the throat and demanded, 'Pay up. Now!'
"The poor wretch threw himself down and begged, 'Give me a chance and I'll pay it all back.' But he wouldn't do it. He had him arrested and put in jail until the debt was paid. When the other servants saw this going on, they were outraged and brought a detailed report to the king.
"The king summoned the man and said, 'You evil servant! I forgave your entire debt when you begged me for mercy. Shouldn't you be compelled to be merciful to your fellow servant who asked for mercy?' The king was furious and put the screws to the man until he paid back his entire debt. And that's exactly what my Father in heaven is going to do to each one of you who doesn't forgive unconditionally anyone who asks for mercy."
Matthew18:21-35 I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness recently. I share a house with 4 other members of my church. It's a houseshare where there is less choice about who moves in - the Diocese owns the house and the vicar is the landlord.
You'd think that a group of Christians living together would be easy. That if there were issues they would be dealt with in a mature, adult way, full of grace.
Well, you'd be wrong. Take loud Mr Morning, who likes to sing at any time. His loud morning singing was driving me nuts. On talking to him about it: "I wish you wouldn't sing in the morning so loudly", the response I got was "well, Josephine, sometimes we don't get the things we wish for".
Then there's his friends that come to stay - either without you knowing, so you stumble into your front room at 4am to find you've woken someone, or you get told they're coming. No asking.
Then there's the fact a couple of them have to be chased at least twice to pay me their share of the bills I pay, which has left me short a couple of months.
And as for the cleaning rota - why bother? They hardly do it anyway. And when Miss Bossy asked what 'cleaning the downstairs rooms' meant I nearly had a fit. And then asked her why she hadn't done it when you was supposed to have done: "I'm getting around to it". Which is not an excuse that sits with her, as she'd been moaning just a week ago that someone hadn't done their turn on time!
When does the servant heart of being a Christian stop and rolling over and becoming a doormat begin?
When does give and take be mutual, and not me giving and them taking?
According to Jon Walker, who writes many of the Purpose Driven Life daily devotionals, when it comes to issues of forgiveness and unforgiveness:
The power of God – working within us – means we’re no longer slaves to unforgiveness or bitterness. We can ask God to help us release any offender and find the courage to ask for forgiveness.
What now?
- Talk to God before talking to the person – Whether you have been offended or you are the offender, talk to God about the situation and receive his insight and direction. Center yourself on God and allow him to plant within you a deep, deep acceptance that all things really do work together for those who believe in his Father’s heart and in his incorruptible sovereignty.
- Ventilate vertically – Like David in the Psalms, use prayer to vent your frustration upward, rather than venting around you. If you’ve been offended, cry out to God, telling him exactly how you feel. He won’t be surprised or upset by your anger, hurt, insecurity, or bitterness.
- Confess your part of the conflict – In order to restore a relationship, begin by confessing any sins of your own that contributed to the broken relationship. Jesus says this will help you see things more clearly: “First get rid of the log from your own eye; then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” (Matthew 7:5 NLT)
- Always take the initiative – It doesn’t matter whether we’re the offender or the offended, Jesus told us to make the first move: “This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.” (Matthew 5:23-24 MSG)
Forgiveness is not easy:
Genuine forgiveness is not an easily cultivated art. Especially when we have been gravely wounded by another person, our basic human dignity affronted, it is no simple task to forgive. Nor should it be done lightly. For we need also to recognize and affirm the anger, the pain, the betrayal, or the sense of injustice that we feel when genuinely hurt.
Wendy M. Wright
The Rising I was talking with a friend today. He (because blokes ALWAYS have a solution) suggested I need to stop stressing about it so much. Either address it or leave it. Don't let it fester. Easier said than done for an experienced grudge-holder. But he's right. It only makes me ill.
But, as I was cleaning the whole house yesterday before a party (nobody cleaned last weekend - it was my weekend off), I suddenly found myself thinking about the Matthew passage at the beginning of this post. And found myself wondering to God: why and how does He put up with me? Why does He bother with me, I mess up so often? Why...?
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posted by Calia77 @ 9:02 pm  |
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