| Tuesday, November 27, 2007 |
| Ask God for what you want! |
'THE REASON YOU DON'T HAVE WHAT YOU WANT IS...YOU DON'T ASK GOD.' JAMES 4:2
Imagine walking into a restaurant on a whim and asking if your order is ready. 'When did you call it in?' the waiter asks. 'Oh I didn't,' you reply, 'I just thought perhaps you'd have something with my name on it.' Sound ridiculous? No more so than expecting God to answer requests you haven't made; in faith, believing. James says, 'The reason you don't have what you want is...you don't ask God.' Does that mean He'll automatically give you everything you ask for? No. James adds, 'Even when you do ask you don't get it because...you want only what will give you pleasure' (James 4:3 TLB). Your motives need to be in tune with what God knows is best for you. John says, 'This is the confidence...we have in Him...if we ask anything...according to His will...He...hears' (1John 5:14 AMP). Lamentations 3:25 says, 'The Lord is good to those who wait...expectantly for Him' (AMP). Expectant prayer demonstrates confidence in God's goodness. Instead of fretting and taking matters into your own hands, when you say, 'Lord, I'm going to trust you with this, regardless of the outcome,' He'll honour your faith. Paul says, 'in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God' (Philippians 4:6 NKJ). Do you need a job? Help overcoming a problem? Salvation for your loved ones? A deeper walk with God? Physical or emotional healing? Jesus said, '...your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom' (Luke 12:32 NIV). God wants to be good to you, so tell Him the 'desires of your heart' (Psalm 37:4 NKJ). And thank Him that the answer will come; in His time!
OK, so here goes.
"God, I want to meet someone. But more than that, I want to be right. I don't think I'm capable of meeting anyone now. I'm too needy. Take that need from me: fill it. Help me to feel fulfilled in you. Then I can meet someone. If it is Your will, of course. But if I get a choice: I'd rather like to meet someone." |
posted by Calia77 @ 9:34 pm  |
|
|
|
|
| A year |
I can't believe it's almost December. Where has the year gone to? Though having said that, I've been through a lot in 11 months. I've learned a lot. I think I may even have grown somewhat during this time.
- I've learned that no matter how strong we think we are, somethings get the better of us.
- I've learned that not matter what we've done, God still loves us.
- I've learned that those who profess to be Christians, to be part of the Body of Christ, can be like a cancer, tearing that body apart, causing destruction, pain and hurt wherever they tread.
- I've learned that I can be friends with a guy I have had strong feelings for, but that also those feelings can come back (darn them!).
- I've learned that life is not just about sex!
- I've learned that life is not all about me!
- I've learned that it may be hard to say sorry, but it's a lot less painful in the long run. And I wish others would learn that too.
- I've learned that to stop the wheel turning you have to get off. And I wish others would learn that too.
- I've learned that I'd rather regret the things I have done that the things I haven't (as long as they're not illegal or immoral).
- I've learned that there are some friends you can't tell everything.
- I've learned that there are some friends who shouldn't really be called friends and that they really don't have your best interests at heart.
- I've learned that to not talk about my faith (even as simply as to not say I go to church) is to deny myself. And besides, you never know how God can use that conversation.
- I've learned that I can say 'No' to blokes and that it's not always going to be them saying 'No' to me.
- I've learned that there's more to life than finding a man (honestly, I have, its just that I do like them!).
- I've learned that you can help people through difficult times by listening and letting them voice their concerns.
- I've learned that I can actually sing.
- I've learned that I still find reading the Bible and praying difficult.
|
| posted by Calia77 @ 2:48 pm |
|
|
|
| Saturday, November 17, 2007 |
| I get the hint |
So, I texted the guy Sunday. He texted back Monday and I replied later that day. I've heard nothing since.
I get the hint. Hard to miss, really.
It's funny, isn't it? We pursue people - he did a good job of that, which was nice, the first time I've really been chased before - and then we meet them. And then... well, people aren't always what they seem, are they?
I guess I would have been deluding myself if I'd said I could have seen him being 'the one' (not that I believe there is 'the one'), so although my pride is a little bit dented, I'm not hugely bothered.
Another experience. And new things I've learned. Would I rather live my life wishing I had taken the risk? |
| posted by Calia77 @ 8:21 pm |
|
|
|
| Sunday, November 11, 2007 |
| The Facebook status I can never have |
"Jo is happy because she had a man in her bed last night and is pleased her virtue is still intact and pleasantly surprised that not all men seem to want to get into her knickers straightaway and thinks maybe there are some nice guys who like her out there after all" Probably not the status to share when friends and family are your Facebook friends.
So I saw the guy again Friday night. Brought him home. We had another of those "this is not about a quick shag" talks on the way back to mine, which upset him. He thinks I ask too many questions and that even if he was just after that he'd tell me he wasn't to shut me up.
But it appears he's not just after that. I didn't sleep with him. In either sense of the word. How do you married people do it, night after night? What I mean is, how do you actually get any sleep? I can't, and I have a king size bed, so it's not as if there isn't enough room for 2. At a push you could probably get 4 in! Not that I ever intend to do that! ;-)
I know I took a risk. I could be sat her bemoaning the fact that I'd done something I really wanted to do but knew I shouldn't. But I haven't. He was right - he was not just after a quick shag and then goodbye. It was nice to not have to fight off hands. And actually, it wasn't just about that for me either. I wasn't having to fight my own desire all night because actually it wasn't forefront of my mind. Sure, there were a couple of moments, it's not as if I find him repulsive! But - and this is a rarity for me - it was not just about the sex for me.
So maybe the Facebook status I can never have should be:
"Jo is learning that sometimes she can fancy a man and not just want to have sex with him!" |
| posted by Calia77 @ 10:00 am |
|
|
|
| Tuesday, November 06, 2007 |
| THE date |
It went well. Though the proof is always in the pudding - or rather, in whether the guy calls again.
We walked. As much as I love to eat, my preferred first date is always something where you're more likely to talk about some really random things - and learn a lot more about the person. My ideal first date (and I've done this twice) - is the fun fair!
So last night we walked down to Oxford St, then down one of the side streets. We walked past a second-hand music/film shop and popped in - it was raining! You learn a lot about someone by their taste in music or films.
We then walked on through Soho, down to Trafalgar Square, down Whitehall and then stopped on Westminster Bridge, underneath Big Ben, looking at the London Eye. London is a beautiful city at night on the river. And it was freezing! Poor lad! I don't think he's quite used to British weather, being from South Turkey where it's rather warm! We then went and had a hot chocolate sat beneath the London Eye.
We talked about loads of stuff. He got cold and invited me back to his to watch DVDs. And I said no. Because I'm not looking for just a quick s**g. And he told me not to judge him like all the others: that's not what he's looking for either. But, that comment was more about me than him. Warm room, cute man... it doesn't take long for me to get that feeling! Still, it was a chance to talk about that. And hopefully I didn't upset him too much.
He's not like any man I've ever met before, and that intrigues me. I hope he calls. But then if he doesn't it's not the end of the world, and I had a nice night. But I REALLY hope he does call. I'm not going to push this - it's down to him to make the next move now. Hopefully I won't pine too much whilst waiting for him to call (I'm convinced he will!) |
| posted by Calia77 @ 1:06 pm |
|
|
|
| Sunday, November 04, 2007 |
| Fool for love |
I'm a sucker for romance. A fool for love. Blah, blah, blah.
Anyway, Friday night. Long story. Basically, after working late on a stunt went back to the pub to see the pretty barman. One thing after another and, well... Oh, OK, I have to tell the story.
One of my friends was left in the bar when I got there. Her sister then turned up and we went for food. Barman wanted to know if I was coming back - I asked if I should, and he said yes. I said OK. So when the girls went home I went back to the pub. He took me downstairs to the comedy set that was going on. There was flirting and a little bit of kissing.
Comedy turned to disco! Yay! I LOVE dancing. So I danced, by myself. Got towards the end of the night - probably around 1.30 am - and everyone was dancing behind the bar. Except him. I went over to ask if he danced - just my luck if he didn't! - not to ask him to dance, I knew he was working. He wouldn't come over. The other staff said he was working. I only wanted to ask a question, but he wouldn't have any of it! Fine, so I went back to dancing.
Get to the end of the night and there's a Sinatra song. There's ALWAYS a Sinatra song! I decided to carry on dancing by myself. Who needs a man to dance with, eh? And then there's a hand on my shoulder and I turn round and he's there. And he dances. A bit. Because even a great multi-tasker like myself can't dance and kiss at the same time! :-)
Is this a wise choice, a good prospect? I don't know. Have no idea. But I'm just going to see what happens. And keep my head. As much as I can!
I'm seeing him tomorrow night. :-) |
| posted by Calia77 @ 6:32 pm |
|
|
|
| Saturday, November 03, 2007 |
| How long? |
How long until I can stop beating myself up about the chef?
How long before I stop telling people?
Have I just shot myself in the foot by telling someone? A certain barman I've taken a liking to.
How long do I have to punish myself for? |
| posted by Calia77 @ 4:08 am |
|
|
|
| Thursday, November 01, 2007 |
| Pretty |
Ah, the pretty barman! Ah. Bless him! A friend at work got a text from him Tuesday night (he'd got her number from the other barman who has her number - still with me?) to tell her he wasn't sleeping because I hadn't called him! Bless him!
It's funny. I remembered this evening the first time I saw him in the pub I thought 'Oh, hello!' (yes, I know I do that a lot), then 'he'd never be interested in me. WAY out of my league'. Funny how things work out.
I popped to the pub yesterday lunch time to see him - he was there, though not working. I finally gave in and sent him a text this evening. He wants to see me Sunday, but I'm working in the morning, choir practice over lunch and then I'll probably need a sleep. I'd suggested Saturday, which was when he came back with Sunday.
Why am I fretting so? If it's right it's right and it will work out. If it's not, then why fret so much? I think about these things too much. But then, when I don't, they all go a little bit pear-shaped.
Still, it's nice to be wanted! You'd think after the months and years of moaning about nobody liking me... But it's still not the Christian guys. Ah well! One step at a time! |
| posted by Calia77 @ 10:05 pm |
|
|
|
|
|
