Shatterproof is my new blog for 2007. 2006 was the year of the Jo. 2007 is about that solid core inside me that keeps me from shattering completely. 2007 is about God, and the transformation of me and my life I hope for in Him.
Welcome readers, old and new, to Shatterproof
Sunday, April 29, 2007
God showing His love through pavement junk
I was having one of those crummy days. I think I'm starting to get low-level pre-30 blues. An early mid-life crisis, maybe? An existential "what the *bleep* am I doing with my life?" moment. I'd been reading the book Captivating earlier, and was onto the chapter about God romancing us. About how He's romanced the co-author with a beach full of starfish to show her He loved her. You know those chapters. The ones where you end up thinking, rather cynically to yourself "well bully for you", all the while wishing you were about to stumble across a beach full of starfish. Middle of Holloway - most unlikely.
But I did find this red, metal, tacky heart sat in the middle of the pavement when I turned the corner into my road. I walked past it. Stopped. Went back. Picked it up.
Coincidence? Tacky? Just my imagination, or was God showing me His love? Was He cutting through my cynicism, my dislike of tat and tacky romance to get to my heart?
I don't know. But for a piece of red metal tat, it's now quite special to me.
From the deep I cry I am needing change in my life I have let the cold creep in and lock my ability to feel (deeply) Just now a shaft of light shot through my soul Opening up the windows and the doors Reaching to the corners and my flaws Showing my need
Chorus: I'm running out of time to live Running out of love to give Running out of life within God help me God help me
I don't care who stares Never want to be where I have been again Grace has taken over and drawn me in and I am embracing it 'Cause now I see Your light drawing me close Overwhelming love I don't deserve But I'll take the hope You bring, You hold it out to me Without You
Thanks to all of you who were so honest in your comments to my last post. I came across this song recently: the lyrics really spoke to me.
There's so much hope. God is changing me, softening me, drawing me nearer to Him and taking away my fear. But so slowly. Too fast and it would overwhelm me.
I praise Him for this. For in the midst of chaos (church life is very nasty at the moment), God speaks, breathes, lives and works a little peace and grace into my life. Even when I don't realise it. Even when I can't see it.
The book Captivating talks about how the vows of our childhood lock us into patterns of doing life that bring death to our spirits, not life.
I vowed that I would never marry a man like my father, that I would never become like my mother. And so I closed myself off to relationships.
Sure I chase after them. Anyone who knows me know they're my main obsession. But combine my vow to never be in a relationship like my parents' with the fact that every boy between the ages of 6 to 16 rejected me, and it becomes all too clear that there are elements of self-sabotage in all my chasing, longings, obsessions.
Why else do I pour my energies into the unobtainable - those who are emotionally unavailable, those who've made it clear they're not interested? Because this can't hurt as much as what I'm trying to avoid, yet I feel fated to become part of.
And combine this with my messed up femininity - a tomboy who refused the straight-jacket of frills and flounces as a child, who felt that boys had a better deal - and a pig-headed, stubborn independence masks the fear.
Yet intertwined is an aching vulnerability that yearns to be tended to; and a grasping, nagging, controlling, emotionally-scarred, hurting child finds herself trying to live an adult life. And wonders why each day her heart feels as though another bit has grown colder, and that hope is slowly dying.
I'm not exactly backward about coming forward. I'm very vocal - with 5 or 6 blogs on the go, that's evident. I will talk, and talk, and talk with my friends. But people I don't know so well... I get uncomfortable, don't know what to say, freeze up, get embarassed, judge myself as uninteresting, irrelevant. With kids, or rather teenagers - I have no idea how to talk to them. With people I don't 'gel' with, who are awkward, who can't carry conversations - I dry up as well, peter out, lost for words.
I've not seen Annie Hall. I'd love to. But clips I've seen, things I've heard about it - the subtext, the underlying thoughts, fears and embarassment when we're talking - especially to someone we like - I think, sums me up to a tee.
To those who asked after my last post about being approached by guys with 'Hi Pretty', why I'm 'offended' by this, here's a few reasons:
I have a name. And it's not pretty. It's quite clearly at the top of my profile.
By not using my name the guy implies that the email to me is just one of many generic emails to lots of ladies.
On point 2, I don't have a problem with him writing to others - he's not the only one who's mailed me - but please take some time and thought when writing to me. Perhaps pick up on something I've said in my profile. The implied laziness turns me off.
And if all that 'fascinates' him about me is my smile, then he's far too superficial for me - I don't smile that often!
I've ranted on my 'public' blog (Jo's Ramblings) about guys who approach on internet dating sites with the classic opener... "Hi pretty!" I posted about it on the dating site's boards, and there seems to be an overwhelming majority opinion - they guy just isn't sleazy.
Maybe I'm a cynic. Maybe, as has been suggested, I'm just insecure in my looks. Maybe I'm just looking for an excuse to reject him because my heart's elsewhere. Maybe I'm a realist. I wondered what my blog friends thought?
So I get this email (paraphrased):
"Hi pretty. I am highly favoured seeing your pretty face on the screen. I believe there is something interesting and fascinating about you. I viewed your picture and I liked what I saw, you look very unique and your profile is dynamic. I find people like you very interesting. As children of God, we should be able to talk about what God has done in our lives."
So I responded. Harshly? A little. Testing. To see if there is more than just what I look like. "Thank you for your message. Please tell me - what is it that you believed is interesting and fascinating about me?"
He replied...
"What was fascinating and interesting is 'your smiles'. Your smiles tell a lot about the person you are. keep it up, you are an asset. Am interested in knowing you a bit further, what more will you be willing to share with me?"
You can tell he doesn't know me. Not seen me with PMS, or after a church council meeting. The smiles sure go then. I thought, I'll see this a little longer. I'm trying! But I'm not going to give everything out - my profile is prolific (who'd've thought it, eh? Me! Write a lot!), so what else does he want to know. So I said... "Thank you for the compliment. What do you want to know? I'll let you know if I'm not happy to answer a question. So do ask..."
And he responded...
"I will like to know everything about you, something strikes me about you so have picked interest. Feel free to ask me questions and I will be more than willing to answer them."
Wow! That 'seems' rather keen - or just nuts! But, and call me old-fashioned, if the guy's really interested he'll ask me questions, not just bat the ball back over the net again. That's just lazy. And I don't want a lazy bloke. Well, no lazier than most (JOKE!!)
I'm stuck, wondering what to reply.
In the meantime, checked out a few responses to my post on the boards. To see what others thought.
The general consensus, men and women, was that it was a nice thing to say, an opener akin to "nice weather we're having" and that's it's a great confidence boost. Sure, if it's genuine. But then I said posted about guys who commented that you look pretty, not the opening line being "Hi pretty."
One man responded with: "Beauty is more than skin deep and if a guy is so insensitive to start a conversation like that then its not worth opening dialogue. Its a good job Jesus was not like that. He looks at the heart."
Some women (and one man) told me that I was being harsh - unless the email was improper in any way. Another woman told me I was judging him unfairly.
One woman who understood where I was raised her head in the midst of all this:
"That has happened to me and it's obvious that the man writing has simply cut and pasted the email to different women. If you start off with 'Hi beautiful' or something similar, you don't even need to put her name in! And you can continue with something very general like, 'I like your profile and feel we have much in common...I think you are a very special person' etc etc. I'm much more put off by the idea that I'm one of many people to have been sent that mail, than by the compliment."
But then back to those who obviously have less suspicion and more grace than me, with one woman excusing it on the fact that "men do seem more likely to make 'personal' remarks when emailing rather than 'we like the same books'!", but acknowledging that it's all down to the tone and the rest of the email.
One man suggested I, "accept the complement gracefully and prove that the properly beautiful bit, isn't too deep. I reckon any alternative plays to one's vanity or insecurity."
And the final comment to date (from a man), after stating that some men use the opening line sarcastically and demeaningly: "But I also think woman who take offence to generally good humoured banter of that nature, maybe have a lack of security in their own looks, and use the offence part as a protective shield."
"COME, FOLLOW ME..." MATTHEW 4:19 The word 'disciple' means being an apprentice to someone. And it was easy to tell if someone had done that. Peter, James and John made a decision to spend every day with Jesus in order to learn how to be like Him. Now, they did the same kinds of things you do. They ate, slept, worked, played, and learned. They just did all of these things with Jesus. And now it's your turn. What happened to those three fishermen 2000 years ago, can happen for you. And your season of life, your temperament, your job - these are no obstacles. Throughout history when people came to understand what Jesus was really offering they would sacrifice anything - money, comfort, home, security - to get the chance to be an apprentice to Him. And this is your chance to follow Him too. Read these words from a young pastor in Zimbabwe, Africa, who was later martyred for his faith: 'The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made - I'm a disciple of His. I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I'm finished with low living, sight walking, smooth knees, colourless dreams, tamed visions, worldly talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals. I no longer need pre-eminence, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognised, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, depend on His presence, walk by patience, am uplifted by prayer, and labour with power.' That's what it means to be a disciple of Jesus! The Word for Today, 17 Apr 2007
Permit me, if you will, a short story. Roll back time to June 2006. There was a young woman who was dating a young man. They made plans. In specific, they made plans to go to Poland in October.
Step into another scene, July 2006. The young woman is in a pub - without the young man (he wouldn't come) - talking with her vicar. He is talking about a trip to India in November. The young woman thought about it, realised she didn't have any annual leave left, and besides which, curry didn't really suit her.
Step forward another few weeks, young man has ended the relationship. But India is mentioned again. And this time the young woman is listening to God who's nudging her - and her friend sat in the seat next to her - that He would like her to go. Besides which, now she's not going to Poland she has enough annual leave left to go to India.
Jump to early December, still recovering from the whirlwind trip to India, still on malaria tablets that are making her ill, the young woman would not say no to going again.
Jump to March 2007. The young woman is thinking about doing a floristry course. She's arranged to take time off work as annual leave to do it. But she's starting to wonder if she should. Not only are her fingers stiff and aching in the cold - which doing floristry would only make worse - she seems reluctant to actually drag herself down to the college to register. She keeps making excuses - like going to the Tate with a male friend of hers. Eventually she goes, enrols and pays her money. And is starting to look forward to doing it.
Jump to the present. Today, in fact. And in a conversation with her vicar about something completely different, he drops in the casual comment: "by the way, would you like to go to India in June and do Alpha?"
The young woman has a think. And realises that she has limited annual leave left because she is about to start the floristry course tomorrow. And besides which, last time it was all paid for, but this time it wouldn't be, and she's not sure where the money would come from. AND she's not renewed her passport yet, and it's due to run out in early June.
An hour later she makes a call in response to an email. The call is to find out that her floristry course has been cancelled, and they will be refunding her fees.
So suddenly the young woman has more annual leave than she thought. Suddenly she has an extra £100 she didn't have a few weeks ago. And she has a birthday coming up - a big birthday, and perhaps her family could not buy her presents and give her money towards the costs.
And on her way home she bumps into the vicar. And tells him what had happened. And so, the young woman vows to pray about it, to think about it. And to ask her friends to pray too!
Some words I found from people on a dating website (yes, I know! I'm on and off these things like a yo-yo!) I can't attribute as I don't know their real names.
But anyway, they struck me today as rather apt in my life especially, life in general.
A summary of Ephesians 3:18: Gods’ love is wide enough to embrace everyone Gods’ love is long enough to last an eternity Gods’ love is high enough to cover over all our sins Gods’ love is deeper than any pit we are in.
And a random thought: "He never tells us to "abandon" the desires of ouir heart, but to focus on Him..."
You are most like Arwen. Calm and reserved, you are not given to sudden outbursts. You conduct yourself with dignity...most of the time. The rest of the time you cut loose are are totally cool. You don't really think of yourself as popular, but plenty of people like you. You are not given to needless flirting. The right person will come along some day, and you are content to wait. Take quiz HERE
Barbara asked me if my question about Eve was a trick question. Not at all. I'm genuinely confused. If Adam was perfect then all he needed was God, if there's no marriage or sex in our resurrected, perfect states. Then why did God need to make Eve? Why was Adam not satisfied with God alone. Was Adam not perfect then, even before the fall?
I don't know. It's one of those theological conundrums, that I can't quite get my head around.
Today I visited the Zong, a replica of an 18th century slave ship moored in Sugar Quay on the Thames, funded by The Centre for Contemporary Ministry.
I have a fuller account of the experience on my new blog Jo's ramblings. I'm planning to use the new blog as a platform for thinking about things that are less 'personal'. And a platform for friends and relatives to view. I'm planning to delve into slavery, theology and much, much more there.
"If", as Rob Bell writes in the final chapter of his excellent book Sex God, "marriage is meant to show people what the oneness of God is like, what happens when everybody is one in the presence of God?"
It is traditionally understood that there will be no marriage in heaven. Jesus makes this clear when asked about a woman whose husband dies, and then the next, and then next... until finally she has married seven brothers. Who is her husband in heaven? None of them, because there will be no marriage (see Matthew 22:23-30, Mark 12:18-25, Luke 20:27-35).
So, I ask: what was the point of Eve? If Adam had all he needed from God, then why did he need Eve?
Despite Jesus' public solitude of the cross ahead of Him; despite Him being troubled at His separation from the Father, Jesus' 1st concern was for his troubled disciples. They were troubled because their teacher, their friend, their rock tells them He is leaving. But He is going that He might come back. Even in death, Jesus is not static.
He comforts them. He tells them to trust in Him. He will not let them - nor us - be cast adrift, alone in a world of meaninglessness. No. He is going ahead of us to the eternal life in the Father's presence, the life beyond this life that gives meaning to this life.
When we are in Christ Jesus we are in fellowship with the Father, and the Spirit is in us too. Jesus went, but sent His Spirit to us, to be our comforter, our companion. He has not left us as orphans.
And He asks us to trust Him. And to love. And to obey. If we love Him we will want to obey Him.
Our way to God is through Jesus. And we are comforted by the sure knowledge of His love for us. Which He proves to us by dying for us.
Glory has come to Jesus through His disciples. But how did this rag-tag bunch of people, chosen by Him, drawn to Him, all get along? How did they learn from Jesus to become church - for they were the first church.
They were drawn together in unity by their love for Him.
Jesus prays for His disciples to be one. What does it mean to be 'one'? It doesn't mean uniformity. It doesn't mean we will always agree with one another, like the same songs, styles of doing church, have the same passions. A body has many parts - yet it's one body. In order for a body - for the church - to work, there needs to be difference and diversity. It is when we polarise our differences, focus on what we don't agree on, that conflict arises. And conflict can lead to violence and death.
Oneness is about completeness. All things are complete in Jesus. Everything belongs to Him. Yet, because He is in us, everything belongs to us. As does every person. As does the responsibility to one another, to our world, belong to us, just as it does to Him.
It is in Jesus that we become united, become complete. We may not be fully finished - but we are complete enough to do what we have to do.
Pride. Greed. Jealousy. Fear. Selfishness. These turn us away from Christ.
Despite all he knew about Jesus, Judas still turned away from Him. Despite all he knew, Judas' heart was not right with Jesus: he let his earthly, worldly desires, he let the world take a higher place in his life than Jesus. A deep-seated sin had a grip on Judas' heart and paralysed his conscience.
Jesus was not arrested because of Judas. Had He so wished, He could have escaped. Jesus was not arrested because He was over-powered, but because He was willing to submit to the will and duty of the Father. Despite being fully human, Jesus was willing to dies so that we might be taken into His Kingdom. Us - full of our pride, greed and all other sins that separate us from Jesus.
Despite being about to die, Jesus is still concerned for His disciples, demanding the soldiers let them go. Those who commit to Jesus will not be abandoned to evil.
Peter, by wielding the sword, is exercising his own will. This was not the will of Jesus, who rebukes Peter. Jesus is following God's will - willingly.
Peter's denials of Jesus - a man willing to raise a sword to protect his master one minute, succumbing to his own fear the next, denying Jesus.
Despite His arrest, Jesus was in control of His own death.
Jesus is the new Adam. Our cleansing begins in the garden. Adam, who had all that was good turned to sin. Jesus, in the garden where there is evil, submitted to that evil so that he might bring good.
Why is Pilate so bad? After all, he was only doing his job, doing what the Jewish leaders wanted. He didn't want to hand Jesus over to the Jews - he offered them ways out of killing Jesus.
But he gave in. In the end he handed Jesus over, against his better judgement. He gave in to the pressure of others. Which we do time and time again.
But God doesn't want us to be not like Pilate. He wants us to be like Jesus. And He's transforming us into Jesus' likeness. If we follow Him.
Pilate didn't know what He was doing. Jesus knew what He was doing.
Even when you know the right thing, we don't always do it. Jesus had choice, being fully man, and He made the right choice.
He had the Father's love - He knew the Father's love - and He gives this out to us. It is His love that enables us to stand firm and do the right thing.
The cross is the crux of our faith. Without it, our faith is pointless. The cross is the point at which death is defeated and we are saved.
God, who knows everything, knew that He would raise Jesus from the dead. So the big question is: if He knew this, then why was the cost so huge for God?
Take an example from chemistry.
Group 1 - The Alkali Metals: lithium, sodium , potassium , rubidium , cesium , francium. Introduce one of these metals to water and there's an explosion.
God is the source of life. God is full of life. He is life perfect - bursting with lifeness. Death is the opposite of god. It's power is only in its ability to decay and destroy.
Like alkali metals and water, life and death can live apart from one another. But, mix life and death together - there's an explosion. Storm, darkness, earthquakes, the temple curtain torn from top to bottom.
And when life and death mix, like cesium and water, both are affected. Neither are the same again. Through the cross deaths' power is defeated. But during that time when Jesus, the God of life, goes through death, the Trinity is split in part. The perfect family is divorced. The cost is far greater than death alone: God should never have to experience this separation.
The cost of God dying is unfathomable. It is not temporary - Jesus forever bears the marks of the cross. His wounds are the power of the cross.
Death has, since time began, enthralled and troubled each and everyone who has ever lived. Grief and memorial are a part of being human.
We grieve because we have lost - and are lost. Death is the end of physical life. When we encounter death we also relive the death of our hopes, dreams, expectations, opportunities. These die along with the one we grieve for. Death leads to regrets.
Death resonates with lost hopes in our lives. Death, grief, memorial can take us back to those dark places in our lives: dashed hopes, broken dreams, missed opportunities. When we mourn our friends we also mourn our lost hopes.
But it we wrap up our hopes and bury them with Jesus, they can be resurrected, as He is. Unwrapping our hopes requires courage and a change of thought. In mourning, perhaps we become used to letting go of our hopes. We are encouraged to hold on to our hope in Christ.
Trust in God. We can trust in Him because of what Jesus has done.
Trust in Him. He will comfort us.
As an aside, Aphra posted a thought-provoking reflection on Good Friday.
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the sleek and the strong I will destroy. Ezekiel 3:16
Beat your plowshares into swords and your pruning hooks into spears. Let the weakling say, "I am strong!" Joel 3:10
But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 1 Corinthians 1:27
Despite our brokenness, we live. Christ's death enables us to have life. Our broken lives are our testament to Jesus' love, power, grace and forgiveness. We should not wallow in our brokenness. But neither should be we ashamed of it.
Our outward signs of our inward brokenness are our testament to Jesus.
I don't know how God talks to you. He's rather sneaky with me. I'll be happily minding my own business, you know, walking down to the shops, thinking random thoughts, rather inane thoughts, and then... wham! He's slip a little thought in there which blows me completely out of the water.
So, this is how it went today. I catch a glimspse of myself in a store window. Thinking about my hat, thinking it's not as good as the one I was wearing yesterday, doesn't fit quite so well. This leads to me thinking about a certain young man who has a similar hat to yesterdays hat (army-style), and how he looks good in it. Have I told him? Oh, yes I have. Actually, I then think, he looked rather good yesterday! Should have told him. Should tell him that more often, so he'll realise I like him.
Then the two-part kicker. Perhaps you should let him know you respect him. Because you do. And do you realise you've never really respected any of the other guys you've fancied or gone out with?
Ouch!
My last long-term relationship I didn't really respect him. I went out for him for 2 years when I knew I didn't love him, but was too scared to be on my own. I hated the way he let his mother control him - and fought to control him in response.
A guy I fancied for a couple of years - and actually didn't really like him.
My arrogance when I feel I'm more spiritually 'there' than a guy I fancy. How can I respect him then?
But this guy... Maybe it's the benefit of knowing him for over a year, having spent time with him talking about life, the universe, God, and such like. I've seen him preach. I've seen him in a leadership role.
I've always objected to the idea of submitting to a man, to him being the head of me in a marriage, because I've never yet met a man I trust or respect enough to let him be in charge, in control. This guy? I'd trust him with my life. I'd follow him wherever. Because I've seen where he is with God. I've seen his maturity, his trust in God.
And it's all those things that can, at times, make me feel inadequate, not worthy enough for him. Which I know is complete rubbish.
It's interesting to know that I can actually respect and trust a guy, though.
"There are three kinds of givers -- the flint, the sponge and the honeycomb. To get anything out of a flint you must hammer it. And then you get only chips and sparks. To get water out of a sponge you must squeeze it, and the more you use pressure, the more you will get. But the honeycomb just overflows with its own sweetness. Which kind of giver are you?" ~Author Unknown
'...MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THE MASTER WANTS.' EPHESIANS 5:17
Have you ever mistakenly picked somebody else's luggage off a conveyer belt at the airport and taken it home? Two seconds after opening it up you discovered - you can't live out of somebody else's bag! You can't wear their clothes or fit into their shoes. So why do we try to? Parents! Dad says 'Son, your granddad was a farmer, I'm a farmer, and some day you'll inherit the farm'. Teachers! A teacher warns a young girl who wants to be a stay-at-home mom, 'Don't squander your life. With your gifts you could make it to the top'. Church leaders! 'Jesus was a missionary. Do you want to please Him? Spend your life on foreign soil'. Sound counsel or poor advice? That depends on what God packed in your bag. What if God made the farmer's son with a passion for literature or medicine? Or gave that girl a love for kids and homemaking? If foreign cultures frustrate you while predictability invigorates you, what are the chances you'd be a happy missionary? '...All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be' (Psalm 139:16 NIV). God gives us eyes for organisation, ears for music, hearts that beat for justice, minds that understand physics, hands that love care-giving, legs that run and win races. Secular thinking doesn't buy this. It sees no author behind the book and no purpose behind or beyond life. It says 'You can be anything you want to be'. Wrong! Don't make their mistake. Don't live carelessly, unthinkingly. 'Make sure you understand what the Master wants'.
“For I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances.” (Philippians 4:11 NIV)
Community — Have you ever been somewhere you didn’t want to be? Maybe it was a job, a town, or a marriage. Maybe it was a stage in life, like singlehood, or a state in life, like a disability. It’s very possible that as you read this, you’re wishing you were somewhere else – anywhere else – living a different life, but you know it’s not likely that anything is going to change any time soon.
God has a word for you. It’s the same word he gave a group of people when they were stuck in another country, exiled from their homeland. They’d folded their arms and said, “We’re going to wait this thing out, and when we get home, we’ll start living our lives.”
Through the prophet Jeremiah, God told them, “You’re not going home any time soon, so start making your lives here. Plant gardens, buy homes, let your children get married, and pray for the peace and prosperity of the place where you’re currently living because, by doing that, you too will be blessed with peace and prosperity.”
To use a modern cliché, God was saying, “Bloom where you’re planted.”
Don’t invest your energy in hopes of leaving; instead invest your energy in the people around you. The Christian martyr Jim Eliot expressed it this way: “Wherever you are, be all there.” Don’t be physically present but mentally somewhere else, thinking of the future or the past, thinking of someplace else. Our journey with Christ requires that we be fully present in the present.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer called it “this worldliness,” and said, “It is only by living completely in this world that one learns to live by faith.” This focus allows you to see that your life is centered in God and not the place you live or work, not the person you’re married to – or not married to – not how you feel or how you look.
Investing in the people around you is exactly how you find life. Jeremiah even told the exiles that God had arranged for them to be in exile. So it was God’s plan all along to push them to the edge of their existence, so they would end up centered solely on God.
You may feel like you’re in exile too, but God is still working in your life; and his message to you is: Dig in and fully embrace the life around you.
So What?
·Center your life in God, not in your circumstances. God is constant; your circumstances are temporary. Ask God, “What do you want me to learn or to do in these present circumstances.”
·Change me, God – Instead of asking God to change your circumstances, ask him to change you in the circumstances.
·Practice being in the present – Today, whenever you find your mind drifting to another place, bring it back to the present, and ask God to help you stay in the present.
·Determine to be a good steward of what you have, instead of focusing on what you don’t have. Make the most of what God has given you.
When someone gives us a watch but we never wear it, the watch is not really received. When someone offers us an idea but we do not respond to it, that idea is not truly received. When someone introduces us to a friend but we ignore him or her, that friend does not feel well received.
Receiving is an art. It means allowing the other to become part of our lives. It means daring to become dependent on the other. It asks for the inner freedom to say: "Without you I wouldn't be who I am." Receiving with the heart is therefore a gesture of humility and love. So many people have been deeply hurt because their gifts were not well received. Let us be good receivers. Henri Nouwen Society
Scary, yet comforting. Something we all long for to some extent, I think. Well, I certainly do.
A lack of serotonin - the happiness hormone - leads to the blues and can lead to depression. Scientists report anecdotal evidence that some bacteria found naturally in the dirt - Mycobacterium vaccae - may have natural antidepressant tendancies through activation of serotonin neurons. Any excuse for a roll in the mud, eh?
Kick me when I'm down. Tempt me at my weakest. Taunt me when I can barely keep my head above water. Twist my perceptions, through gossip, so I don't know what's true any more. Laugh at me as I stumble blindly. When I'm crawling, you ridicule, belittle, humiliate me.
"How pathetic", you cry. "How pathetic you are", I respond, "that you delight in a fight when I'm already down".
"How weak you are", you whisper in my ear. "No weaker than you", I respond, "if you can only bring me lower".
"I've won this battle", you crow. I look at you. "But you've lost the war."
Of course, the enemy is going to use this date my friend went on to kick me when I'm down, to stop me in my tracks.
I've developed a love of baking. I make these fantastic banana oat cakes. And I was making some on Saturday. A guy I know - and like - likes them. So I set some aside for him.
The irony being, whilst I was at home baking him cake, he was out on a date. As he informed me last night.
It feels like I've been emotionally mugged and left in the gutter, breathless and in pain. And now I can't even avoid him for the next 4 days.
It doesn't matter if you don't have a six-pack like Brad Pitt. It doesn't matter if you can't sing like Robbie Williams. It doesn't matter if you don't look like Colin Farrell. It doesn't matter if you can't drum like Ringo Starr. It doesn't matter if you can't play guitar like John Lennon. It doesn't matter if you can't cook like Jamie Oliver. It doesn't matter if you don't earn as much as Donald Trump. It doesn't matter if you can't bend it like Beckham. It doesn't matter if you don't work 9-5. It doesn't matter even if you're not always on time.
It matters how you treat me. It matters Who you believe in. It matters that you understand why I live my life this way. It matters that you'll pray with me. It matters that you'll pray for me. It matters that you'l encourage me along the way. It matters how you use your gifts. It matters.
I've seen them fall, one by one, my Christian sisters. Disappointed. Disheartened. Disillusioned. I've seen them, one by one, lose their faith over a man. I've seen them leave the narrow way, because of a man who does not believe. I've seen them wander off the path and not return.
I don't want to be like them. I've wandered, but I've come back. I don't want to wander again. It matters that I share my life with one who understands my faith. I need the strength to walk the narrow path. I need the faith to resist the lure away. I need the strength to wait and hope and pray that some day one will come along that same path with me. It doesn't matter who he is. Yet it matters who he is, and who his hope is in. That's the most important thing.
I heard from a someone I've not seen in about a year, earlier today. She's met a guy. She'd met him when we last met. If I recall rightly, he's not a Christian. She's not going to church much nowadays - and she's fine with that.
I don't want to go there. Even if it means remaining single. That's not a place I want to go.
When I asked this girl to dance, I gave her the choice of saying yes or no. I gave her options. If she had said yes, all sorts of possibilities would have opened up. "But if she said no, then things weren't going to progress at all. And this was her decision, not mine. By extending myself to her in the invitation to dance, I took a great risk. I risked that she would say no and I would be left standing there on the girls' side of the cafeteria humiliated. "Which is what happened. "I had to live with her decision. "I was at the mercy of her choice. "I had given her the power in the relationship, at least what there was of a relationship. "When you move toward a person, when you extend yourself to them, when you invite them to do something, when you initiate conversation, you give them power. "Power to say yes or no. Power to decide. "This is true from junior high dances to marriage proposals to inviting someone for coffee. "Everyone who has ever received a no knows exactly what I'm talking about. "Anytime we move towards another in any way, we are taking a risk. A risk that [they] may say no. Our gesture may not get returned. Our invitation may be rejected. Our love may not be reciprocated."
'She ran into the girls' bathroom', Sex God, Rob Bell
I don't know. I don't know anything at all about it. But I want to know. I want to know though. But this is out of my hands. So I will continue to go through open doors until they close on me.
Crush I know I shouldn't. It's just so wrong to feel this way. You'll never be mine. Can't be. Inappropriate. Sin. A secret I can't confess.
Have you ever had a crush? I don't mean a fancy, a lust. A crush. Nothing overtly sexual about it. In fact, you struggle to describe it to yourself. It's just there, this crush. And it's over the most inappropriate person.
"Time is what life is made of, and how we use our time determines what sort of life we have. The present time is the raw material out of which we make whatever we will. Do not brood over the past or dream idly over the future, but seize the instant and get your lesson from the hour." ~Camilla Eyring Kimball
"Many people are afraid to forgive because they feel they must remember the wrong or they will not learn from it. The opposite is true. Through forgiveness, the wrong is released from its emotional stranglehold on us so that we can learn from it. Through the power and intelligence of the heart, the release of forgiveness brings expanded intelligence to work with the situation more effectively." ~David McArthur & Bruce McArthur
“Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else and thinking something different.” — Roger von Oech
I love this quote. I found it in the sign-off of an e-mail from a friend and it has provided a good deal of reflection, some of which I offer to you today.
First is the use of the word “discovery.” You could replace that word with “worship” and the quote would still work. “Worship consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else and thinking something different.” I have found a good deal of worship is discovery. As we find out more about who we are and why we are here, we discover that God is more involved than we thought. When you find out the truth about God, it's like discovering what was always there; we just missed it somehow.
C.S. Lewis coined the phrase “of course” to describe the discovery of God's presence in the world and in our lives. Worship is the uncovering of God at work in the world. It's all about discovery. For instance, when you find out you were made for God, it's not like some radical thought that never crossed your mind. It's almost as if you knew it, but you forgot. The phrase “of course” seems to capture this discovery aspect perfectly. A purpose driven life rings true because it confirms something we all knew deep inside; it's just that no one put words to it for our generation until now.
Secondly, I like thinking something different. A follower of Christ looks at things differently. Learning to “see” is a lot of what it means to be a Christian. Christ gives us new eyes, and nothing looks the same to us anymore.
A follower of Christ looks at: death and thinks life, losing and thinks winning, tragedy and thinks opportunity, brokenness and thinks humility, accidents and thinks purpose, coincidence and thinks destiny, despair and thinks hope, poverty and thinks wealth, wealth and thinks poverty, failure and thinks success, the seen and thinks about the unseen, history and thinks God's story, science and thinks God's laws, psychology and thinks Christ's wisdom, anthropology and thinks God's image, astronomy and thinks God's heavens, the human body and thinks God's dwelling place, war and thinks man's rebellion, the cross and thinks everything made new, truth and thinks Jesus.
The list is certainly not exhaustive. You can add to it I'm sure. In fact, that would be a good idea – to add to this list your own observations. You might surprise yourself at what you come up with. A lot of what we know, we don't know until we think about it. You might just discover you think something different!
Mister Rogers was right after all: There is only one you. But this information is much more important than to just be boosting your self-esteem. It is to help you better serve others by being more confident about your God-given role in life.
No one else fits your shape. No one else has your blend of gifts, talents, and natural abilities – making you very important in the whole scheme of things. “God made our bodies with many parts,” wrote Paul, “and he has put each part just where he wants it.” (1 Corinthians 12:18) And as it is with the human body, so it is with the Body of Christ – the corporate collection of all who believe.
But this uniqueness goes beyond giftedness; it reaches as well into the depth of each of our experiences in life. No one else has your life. No one else has your pain, your hardship, your joys and sorrows. Everything in life shapes us and we are shaped by everything for a reason – so that we can touch others in a unique way based upon who we are and what we’ve been through. God doesn’t waste anything in our lives.
Every piece of our lives and experiences can be used of Christ to touch someone else. We were made for each other; we live for each other; we even die for each other. We die with hope so that others who live might see the reality of Christ in even the darkest of hours. God uses everything.
Are you just getting by, or are you living for a reason? Think about your unique gifts and ask yourself how those gifts are benefiting others. What specific way is God using you to touch others in the Body of Christ? Do you seem to have an extra measure of wisdom, or mercy, or discernment, or knowledge, or administration, or desire to serve? These will help determine how you can look for opportunities to help others.
And then think about the things you have gone through so far in your life – especially the difficult or challenging things where God has met you with his presence and power. That information is not just for you, it’s for you to empathize with and encourage others who have encountered similar struggles.
God isn’t messing around here. There are no accidents with our lives. Whatever we have received and experienced has shaped who we are, and because of that, we are qualified servants. There is truly no one else like you … for a reason.
To listen is very hard, because it asks of us so much interior stability that we no longer need to prove ourselves by speeches, arguments, statements, or declarations. True listeners no longer have an inner need to make their presence known. They are free to receive, to welcome, to accept.
Listening is much more than allowing another to talk while waiting for a chance to respond. Listening is paying full attention to others and welcoming them into our very beings. The beauty of listening is that, those who are listened to start feeling accepted, start taking their words more seriously and discovering their own true selves. Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become friends, to get to know their inner selves more fully, and even to dare to be silent with you.
Sharing Our Solitude
A friend is more than a therapist or a confessor, even though a friend can sometimes heal us and offer us God's forgiveness.
A friend is that other person with whom we can share our solitude, our silence, and our prayer. A friend is that other person with whom we can look at a tree and say, "Isn't that beautiful," or sit on the beach and silently watch the sun disappear under the horizon. With a friend we don't have to say or do something special. With a friend we can be still and know that God is there with both of us.
An Honest Being-With
Being with a friend in great pain is not easy. It makes us uncomfortable. We do not know what to do or what to say, and we worry about how to respond to what we hear. Our temptation is to say things that come more out of our own fear than out of our care for the person in pain. Sometimes we say things like "Well, you're doing a lot better than yesterday," or "You will soon be your old self again," or "I'm sure you will get over this." But often we know that what we're saying is not true, and our friends know it too.
We do not have to play games with each other. We can simply say: "I am your friend, I am happy to be with you." We can say that in words or with touch or with loving silence. Sometimes it is good to say: "You don't have to talk. Just close your eyes. I am here with you, thinking of you, praying for you, loving you."
“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.” (2 Corinthians 4:8-10 NLT)
These verses are what I call the fine print of the Christian life. When you sign up, you sign up for this, but unfortunately, not too many people read that far into the contract, and not enough leaders point it out. So when bad things start happening to us, we think something went wrong with our faith. Not necessarily. In fact, it’s an honor to think that your faith is worthy of being tested.
It’s a reverse spiritual principle that nonetheless is true: We get beaten down so that Christ might rise in us. It’s the whole idea God has of avoiding confusion. See, he doesn’t want people confusing human power and achievement with his power and what he is achieving in and through our lives. If all Christians were super-Christians, people would be impressed with them. As it is, God wants people to be surprised at us, not so much impressed – surprised that we can keep on believing, given what has happened to us. Surprised at us – impressed with God. That’s the way it should go.
It’s important to know this so that the things that happen don’t throw us into a tailspin. Paul wrote in the passage above that troubles, confusions, knock-downs, and drag-outs are all to be expected in a life of faith, and they are not just something to suck it up and endure, they are what will actually release the power of God in our lives. We encounter death-like experiences so that Christ’s life-like nature may clearly be seen in us, despite what is happening.
Let me try and say this again. This is not just endurance training through tough times. This is God’s strategy for ministry through us. There is no other way for it to be done. His strategy is his power and strength through our weakness – his life through our death. This doesn’t just happen to some Christians; it happens to us all if we desire to be effective in our faith.
So don’t forget the fine print today, and allow the troubles you face to springboard you into finding God’s purposes even in this. He had this planned all along. It’s even in the contract!
What’s normal? by John Fischer
“Grace must wound before it can heal.” — Flannery O’Conner
There are two schools of thought when it comes to the problem of pain. One says: “Sometimes the going will get tough, and in those times you need to remember that your faith will get you through and something good will come out of hardship. Hang in there, this will soon be over.” The other would be: “Get use to it. Pain, suffering, and hardship are necessary for growth. They will be constant companions to those who desire to know and love God deeply. Get ready for the long haul. If you’re feeling good and life is relatively painless, that’s the abnormal experience, not the norm. Enjoy it, but don’t expect it.”
These perspectives present what appears to be subtle differences, when, in fact, they have huge ramifications for the follower of Christ. One says that suffering is a glitch on the spiritual map, a storm one can weather, a malfunction easily corrected with a certain degree of patience and determination. This perspective believes that there exists a “normal” state for a believer that is relatively comfortable and risk-free. But in reality, this perspective is unbiblical and actually lines up more with a culture that treats discomfort as something we deserve to have alleviated. Multi-billion dollar industries are dedicated to creating and maintaining this myth, and convincing us all that the good life is attainable with, of course, the help of the product being touted. In other words, “normal” is just around the corner.
The other perspective is much more in keeping with reality and the belief that our real purposes go way beyond this life and this present darkness. It is a perspective that expects hardship and pain to be a part of the day-to-day program. If we are waiting for anything, we are waiting for eternity with Christ, not for everything to get better here on earth. We have learned that trials are such an integral part of our growing life in Christ that we even welcome trouble when it comes our way, because we know that by it, our faith is found worthy of being tested and our endurance will have a chance to grow (James 1:2-3).
This is not about being pessimistic. It’s about being realistic and learning how to find joy in the midst of even the most difficult things. Getting “normal” right is half the battle.
“God's way of making us right with himself depends on faith. As a result, I can really know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I can learn what it means to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that, somehow, I can experience the resurrection from the dead.” (Philippians 3:10-11 NLT)
"We often think of great faith as something that happens spontaneously so that we can be used for a miracle or healing. However, the greatest faith of all, and the most effective, is to live day by day trusting Him. It is trusting Him so much that we look at every problem as an opportunity to see His work in our life." ~Rick Joyner
"Tell God all that is in your heart, as one unloads one's heart, its pleasures and its pains, to a dear friend. Tell God your troubles, that God may comfort you; tell God your joys, that God may sober them; tell God your longings, that God may purify them; tell God your dislikes, that God may help you conquer them; talk to God of your temptations, that God may shield you from them: show God the wounds of your heart, that God may heal them. If you thus pour out all your weaknesses, needs, troubles, there will be no lack of what to say. Talk out of the abundance of the heart, without consideration say just what you think. Blessed are they who attain to such familiar, unreserved intercourse with God." ~Francois Fenelon
"So often the things that teach us the most and give us the greatest insights into God's ways happen while we are struggling. If we turn to God for strength, feelings and sure knowledge pour into our thinking through the light that quickens our understanding." ~Marilyn S. Bateman
Different parts and different hearts by John Fischer
Why do we all have different passions? So everything that’s supposed to get done will get done.
Sometimes we get overwhelmed because we are constantly exposed to people with various passions for service, and when they represent their cause, they are so committed to that which has captured them that we feel guilty for not sharing their zeal. We seem indifferent in comparison.
When I was in college, we had chapel every day and almost every day we heard a message from someone who had a passion for some particular ministry. They were usually in some ways recruiting us for service, whether it was in missions, or in the church, or in society, or among the poor. It was overwhelming, and often frustrating, because everyone made every concern sound like the only thing any caring person would support.
The same thing happens in our churches. Sometimes we feel guilt because we don’t have the same passion as the last person who talked about missions, or abortion, or the homeless, or marriage, or singleness, or men’s ministry, or AIDS prevention, or prisons, or evangelism, or the military. What we forget is that there are so many needs because there are so many of us to meet them. We aren’t supposed to get our bell rung by every appeal that comes by. We are a body made up of different parts and different hearts; we don’t have to all be moved by the same issues and needs.
This is where the concept and the practical nature of spiritual gifts come in. There are a variety of gifts and there are a variety of ministries, but the same Lord working in all and through all. No one has to do everything; no one can. It is up to us to find out where we fit and what God put us here to do. Soon you will be just as passionate about something because it’s your thing. This is the way it’s supposed to be. We only get frustrated when we forget this and try and take on everything or get so overwhelmed that we take on nothing at all.
All of this should just make us marvel at the wisdom of God even more. He’s designed us all with different abilities and different interests so that we are not only good at what we do, we do not have to be frustrated or depressed over what we aren’t good at. When we all do our part in the Body of Christ, everyone gets a job, everyone gets honored, and everyone’s important. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.
One of the hardest spiritual tasks is to live without prejudices. Sometimes we aren't even aware how deeply rooted our prejudices are. We may think that we relate to people who are different from us in colour, religion, sexual orientation, or lifestyle as equals, but in concrete circumstances our spontaneous thoughts, uncensored words, and knee-jerk reactions often reveal that our prejudices are still there.
Strangers, people different than we are, stir up fear, discomfort, suspicion, and hostility. They make us lose our sense of security just by being "other." Only when we fully claim that God loves us in an unconditional way and look at "those other persons" as equally loved can we begin to discover that the great variety in being human is an expression of the immense richness of God's heart. Then the need to prejudge people can gradually disappear.
Our ministry is to serve the needs of believers; our mission is to serve the needs of those who are not presently Christians. The latter can present a problem. You can’t really serve someone if you don’t know them, but being in relationship with those who aren’t Christians can be dangerous. Old habits and old ways of life can come back to haunt us when we are around people who don’t share our desire to follow Christ.
For this reason, it may be necessary to keep only Christian friends for a season, but the goal for us all is to be stronger than this. God didn’t save us and leave us on earth to band together and live nice, safe little Christian lives until he returns or we die, whichever comes first. We are here to share the good news of God’s forgiveness with those who don’t know about it yet, and we can’t do that without getting close to people who need it. We need to be close enough to people to know them, love them, identify with their need, and serve them without judging them or losing our own hold on Christ.
How will we do this? A couple suggestions to think about today: First, don’t ever forget we are all sinners in need of salvation. This will help keep us from a self-righteous and judgmental attitude. We never have a perfect day. We encounter our own need to be saved all the time, because we all sin and fall short of God’s glory. We lead people to Christ, not by reaching down to them from a place of invulnerable perfection, but as one thirsty person bringing another to water.
Second, remember that sin entraps everyone. Your friends who aren’t Christians may very well have a soft heart to God and the truth but it’s covered up by a host of things the enemy uses to blind us like fear, failure, addictions, and all sorts of false coping mechanisms. Success, power, and wealth can blind you as well. We need to ask God for the ability to look past all these distractions to the heart, because at the heart everyone is hungry for God. We were created that way.
Lord, teach us to see people as you see them. May we not give in to the things that once entrapped us. Make us keen to the lie and hungering for the truth today, and help us to find it even in those who don’t know you. Remind us that we are all children when it comes to you, even the toughest among us. Show us how to love everyone and stay true to you.
